I'm sorry....so sorry....

....please accept my apologies......


Hopefully you know how the rest of that song goes.


Unfortunately, after a long, grueling evening last night...one of marital discontent...I am unable to blog about much due to lack of "pep".


I would HIGHLY recommend you visit www.someecards.com , if you have a great sense of humor, that is. If you are easily offended, please don't visit this site, as I don't want to hear anymore whining at the moment.

Anyways....they have a GEAT selection of eCards for EVERY occasion, and they offer up a HEARTY serving of sarcasm with each card!

I find too many that I like, so I save them to my computer, and then upload them to my photobucket account.

If nothing else, go there if you need a boost....a decent chuckle. Or...if you're upset, it will sympathize with you....lol....in some strange way.


Hope you all have a great evening, and a great weekend. My middle one is getting ready to go to her first winter formal. Got herself a designer red-carpet gown before mama went out of business. Actually...they ALL got a FEW high-end gowns before I closed my doors. Smart girls. I'll send pictures later....

Night.

Wrestling with a comment...

Unfortunately...I may be at loss for words tonight. Only because I am fairly disturbed by some comments that were thrown my way late this afternoon.


I HAD been having a fairly decent day, until one of my readers decided to email me comments about a topic that I should blog about...and how I should do it. It touched a rather raw nerve with me. Basic content was: I should write a blog of nice things about my husband, because it was the right thing to do to make him happy.

I'm sorry...but, he doesn't even READ my blogs. Doesn't have one bit of interest in them. I also take GREAT offense in how it's the WOMAN'S job to stroke the mans ego so that he can offer up kindness in return. When I hear that, I always feel that the woman should get NO kudos, kindness or thoughfulness given to her...unless SHE first gives.

And that's EXACTLY the way this "comment" was taken.


Sorry, all of my loyal readers.

I may or may NOT be back on tonight. It's best that I hold my tongue and properly prepare or difuse myself before going on further. I promise though...I won't let this shut my blog down.

Some women get stronger AND wiser with age. I'd like to think that I am one of them.

Surprise.....Delivery!!

There she is...at the age of 13. Heather Michelle Schmidt. Born on May 3rd, 1994, to my mother, who was 43 at the time she delivered my sister. Wait. WE delivered my sister. Yeah....here's the story same of you have been waiting for...and others have previously heard, but want to hear again for some reason. **chuckle**

Here goes nothing.



Nice spring morning, it was on May 3rd, 1994. My mom had gone out to Red Lobster the night before, to celebrate her boyfriends birthday. It had been a quiet day so far for me. Well, as quiet as can be for a mom of two (ages 5 1/2 and 16 months). Oh yeah. I was also almost 9 months pregnant, also.


I get a phone call from my mom, somewhere around 10:30am, I believe. She was in tears, in a panic that she was having a miscarriage. This was COMPLETE news to me, as I didn't even know that she thought she was pregnant. I pressed her for more information on the phone; Was she bleeding? (Yes.) How much? (Substantially.) Has she told Bob, her boyfriend? (No.) Why not? (He doesn't know she's pregnant.) How far along did she think she was? (Maybe 4 months.)

Ok. Well, I explain to her that she NEEDS to get to the hospital IMMEDIATELY, before she looses too much blood. (She can't drive, by the way...) She explains that she doesn't want to involve Bob. Alright. Fine. I will drag my HUGE pregnant ass, all the way across town to tend to my mom. So, I tell her I am on my way.

As I am taking my 25 minute drive to her house, I am TRYING to mentally prepare for what I will be walking in to...not truly knowing what will happen once I get there. I've had my share of medical run-ins, and consider myself pretty educated when it comes to medical issues. Taken some classes on psychology, CPR, had two kids of my OWN, for God's sake. I can handle this.

I get there, as quickly as I could have. Bob greets me at the door, not knowing that I was on my way. I explained to him that mom had called me. (He was under the understanding that she had food poisoning from the night before at Red Lobster...thought nothing more about it.) He said that since I was going to be there with mom, he was going to run down to Napa and get some car parts, as he was working to fix their Volvo. No problem, I said...I'm here to be with mom.

WRONG THING TO SAY!! WHERE were the red flags when I needed them???


I head upstairs to the master bedroom/bathroom where mom is. I find her in a robe, bouncing back and forth from the bathroom, to sitting on the edge of the bed and talking to me. Upon talking to her for a bit, I find that she thinks she is about 4-5 months along (LIE!) and that she's been sick for hours. Every time she gets up to use the bathroom, I hear her grunt, and I fear that she is trying to pass the baby...meaning I REALLY need to get her to the hospital, ASAP.

I explain to mom that we need to get he to the hospital right away, as I don't think I can help her, because it appears that she is trying to pass the fetus. She's just not going for my idea at all. I explain that if I can't take her, then I will need to call 911 to transport her.

Little did I know, I would be doing that, anyways....

She heads back to the bathroom. No. She RUNS to the bathroom, and closes the door. I sit and wait on the edge of the bed, wondering what to do next.

And then I hear it.

The sound that forever changed my life.




The sound of a newborn baby crying.



I JUMP up from the bed and kick in the bathroom door. I see my naked mom lifting off of the toilet, white as a sheet, asking me, "What's going on?"

I never knew I was REALLY good at emergency situations...until now.


I reached over and sat my mother on the trash can, and in doing so, I watch a baby fall from her....into the toilet bowl. I scoop up this baby, perfectly pink, and grab a towel and wrap it up. I see the phone on the bathroom counter and immediately dial 911. My mother, still perched on the trash can, continues to ask me, "What's going on?" (Duh. You just had a baby, mom.) But, I have something else that's keeping my attention.

The 911 dispatcher picks up, and I explain to her that my mother just had a baby. I try to explain that I am very largely pregnant myself, and that we need help...FAST! I go on to explain that the baby appears to be FULL TERM. Unfortunately, it does not appear that the dispatcher knows what that means, as she keeps asking me over and over how far along the baby appeared to be. ***sigh*** After establishing that the baby had 10 fingers, and 10 toes....was a GIRL (I shouted at the dispatcher, "I HAVE A SISTER!!")...and that she appeared to be healthy.....the dispatcher asks me, "Is she breathing?"

Everything was fine and dandy until she had to ask that question. At that moment, I look down at the baby, and she had IMMEDIATELY turned a purple/blue color. I told that to the dispatcher. She begins to walk me through infant CPR (which I was not taught). I begin "working" on the baby, and my mother begins screaming at me, "What are you doing?! Don't! Don't do it!!" I continue to administer CPR until the baby cries and begins to breathe again.

At this point, I hear a pounding on the front door downstairs. I tell the dispatcher on the phone that someone is here at the house. She explains it is the fire crew. I holler at them to come in...but, it seems that Bob locked the door behind him. I continue to yell at them to come in, knowing full well that my mom could NOT be left alone with this baby. By the third time that I yell, they begin kicking in the door.

They manage their way upstairs, and get mom and baby on a gurney, and descend downstairs. By this time, the ambulance had arrived, and they were placed inside the back of it. Mom is begging me to go with her to the hospital, but I try to explain to her that the door is busted in, there's blood all over the upstairs bathroom, and what would Bob do or think when he got home and no one was here? She agreed. The ambulance left, and I stayed behind for what seemed the LONGEST amount of time.


Ok....here's where I HAD to have run mom's phone bill up....

I called Dean first. I ended up being some what hysterical, and reiterating the words HOLY SHIT about every 10 seconds. I was at first, on the line with an acquaintance at Dean's work, trying to explain to her what just happened, while I was waiting for Dean to get off of the phone. He finally came on, and I explained what happened. Not only did he not believe it...he was pretty unimpressed by the whole thing. I was VERY quickly pissed off by his calmness, and KNEW that I needed to talk to someone who would be there for me.

I called my brother. Yet another mistake. Not only was he PISSED, he really didn't want to talk to me, either.

So off the phone I get. I pace around in a figure 8 upstairs, while waiting for Bob to come home. I couldn't believe what must be taking him so long!! I just KNOW that I wore down the carpet in her bedroom that day...


After what seemed like an hour, Bob showed up.

Now, I have to explain to you...Bob was a VERY laid-back guy (we lost him in 2005...another story). He came into the house, and wondered how mom was doing. I told him that the ambulance came and took her to the hospital. He said, "Oh man...I'm so sorry". I then explained to him that I thought he should sit down...which he did. I told him, "I really don't know how to tell you this other than just telling you...so.............mom had a baby while you were gone."

Bob sat there in silence for a moment. Then, he asked me to repeat myself. "Mom had a baby while you were gone."

At this point, Bob stands up and says, "I need to take a shower!", and heads into the downstairs bathroom. I sit on the couch in amazement, kind of wondering if this is all some crazy dream.

He eventually emerges, and asks me to go over...one more time...what happened. I explain the whole thing to him. He says, "We need to go to the hospital!" PERFECT!! This is what we needed to do SEVERAL minutes ago!

Well, we hop in his car and head downtown to the hospital. Before we can even get on the freeway, poor Bob has to pull over to a restroom, as he is sick.

Once back in the car, we head straight for the hospital.

We get there, and mom has been separated from the baby, and is in a VERY large room where she is being examined, asked questions, and "fixed up". Bob rushes to her side, and says, "You didn't have to do this to get me to marry you. Will you marry me?" Of course, mom said yes.

Test after test was performed on Heather Michelle, due to the "conditions" she was born in...and all the while, I got to contact everyone and tell them the news. NOT the easiest job in town.

Local news got ahold of the story, and within 2 weeks, we were front page of the Fresno Bee, and on TV...largely due to a special event that the ambulance company was holding. It was quite surreal...just as Bob told the paper.

I DO need to tell you that mom had remained 143 pounds through her ENTIRE pregnancy. Even helped me MOVE in February, before Heather was born. She shared a bed with Bob, and the baby never seemed to move. You would not have known that she was pregnant. It was quite incredible.


Here I am now, 38 years old, with a sister the age of MY youngest....13. They go to the same school, and there are some kids who know their relationship. It's kinda odd for everyone involved...but, it is what it is.


So....that's my story, an I'm sticking to it.

I got to share this story with everyone at Bob's funeral in October of 2005. I felt honored to have "shot the starting gun" of his fatherhood. And during his all too brief time with us, he was one of the best father's I have ever known. And he was THRILLED to have Heather. He taught her so much before he left us. I miss him dearly.


How blessed we are to have some of his legacy living on in Heather.


How's THAT for an exciting story???



By the way.....for Mother's Day that year, I got her a copy of the 911 call that I had placed. We both have a copy. It's pretty darned cool, if I may say so myself...

Bed rest and Tommy Boy...

How sad is it when there are 6 of us gathered around the TV, watching Tommy Boy, and 5 of us know the lines....verbatim. And....we have a 7th person downstairs who could chime in with us.

Have you seen it? You really should. TOTAL no-brainer...and funny as hell! Here are a couple of lines you can rehearse to share with YOUR family:


Tommy (Chris Farley): I l-left a message.
Richard Hayden (David Spade): A message? What number did you call?
Tommy: Two, four, niner, five, six, seven...
Richard Hayden: I can't hear you, you're trailing off and did I catch a niner in there? Were you calling from a walkie-talkie?
Tommy: No, it was cordless.



Tommy: Did you hear I finally graduated?
Richard Hayden: Yeah, and just a shade under a decade too, all right.
Tommy: You know a lot of people go to college for seven years.
Richard Hayden: I know, they're called doctors.


Richard Hayden: What is our carrying charge for all the merchandise in the warehouse?
Tommy: Ohhhh, man...
Richard Hayden: One and a...
Tommy: ...half percent. I knew that. Why can't I remember it?
Richard Hayden: Try an association like, uhhh... Let's say the average person uses ten percent of their brain. How much do you use? One and a half percent. The rest is clogged with malted hops and bong resin.


Alright....I digress. It's funny. Got funny lines. A few bad words thrown in here and there. Some heavy-hitter actors, too. Even Bo Derek doing her best impression of "10" again! Definate cult classic.


Well, my day was fairly uneventful. Went to the doc again. "Everything looks great! Take the rest of the tape off when you get home." Even though the nurse recommended I spend more time in bed during the day (which I will be doing), everything else seems to be right on task.


I fear I am going to have nothing funny or exciting to write about in the next few days...while I am in BED. ***sigh*** Looks like I will have to revisit some more poignant times in my life again.

Ohhh....the choices. Twice stolen identity...car hit while I was in South Coast Plaza...delivering my little sister while I was almost 9 months pregnant....


What to write, what to write....


Any suggestions?

If I only had a brain...

Warm prune juice, hot tap water, dried apricots, a fersh orange, Metemucil, Miralax....the list goes on and on. I am SURE you know what all of these are used for. I know we have touched on this subject before...but, I would just like to share something with my readers.


I have often wondered, "WHY?", when being diagnosed/stricken with certain ailments. I have often been told, "Everything happens for a reason...even if we don't know why". Well...I have figured out why I have two of my health issues, and how to use them for my good.


IF you happen to have surgery...and IF you have happened to have the same "issues" as I have been having....and IF you happen to have lactose intolerance or IBS....USE IT NOW TO YOUR ADVANTAGE!!!


I have to thank my dear friend, Debbie, and her gift of ice cream last night that made me sick!! I think, perchance, that it was the BEST vanilla ice cream I've ever eaten!! My stomach was SO unhappy!!



Speaking of friends bringing food...I am so blessed. I have had a full dinner meal brought to my home EVERY NIGHT since the 19th...and have someone scheduled to bring me food until this Thursday evening. I have AWESOME girlfriends from church! Milli has schedule this WHOLE thing, and various loving friends have been so great at bringing dinner every night for a household of (currently) seven.

I'm on the receiving end, once again. I have a LOT of GIVING to do, once I am fully recuperated. I have thoroughly been looking forward to volunteering bedside again at the hospice. This will DEFINATELY warrant me returning back to what I love doing there. I can hardly wait to be a vigil volunteer again!! I have so greatly missed being there for others as they cross over.


Speaking of being active again, a couple of things popped up today.


After YEARS of trying to get Dean to train with me (and me missing so much this past year didn't help), he has decided to start a routine with me and my personal trainer...once I am given the green light by my doctor...and once he finishes his 12-week cardio rehab., we will start a regimine. THAT should be fun! My trainer's been DYING to get her hands on him!!

Also...I had some sad news today. A genteman that I had JUST started working with at the travel agency before I left, was found dead in his home this week. He was absent from work on Tuesday, which was odd. On Wednesday a friend had the police break in, and they found him slumped over his kitchen sink, while his dinner was waiting for him on the table. Died immediately from a massive heart attack at the age of 65. Richard, you were a good man, and you will be missed.

His absence has left a HUGE hole in the travel office. He was half of the department that handled all bus tours and excursions. Sounds like they are bringing my name up as a possible person to fill the position left empty by the loss of Richard. It would be great, as they are offering me a chance to become a travel agent, also. I had quite a bit of dealings with airlines, cruises and hotels (not to mention personal experience) while I worked there. I am actually half-way excited about the opportunity. We'll see how it all pans out. I'll keep you posted. It would be some big shoes for me to fill...


Anyways...I fear that I have nothing else really exciting to share with you this evening. Since I spent a VERY long day at church (FIVE hours...we had an annual meeting today), I have been rather uncomfortable. So, I will be online...but, taking it easy. I am currently watching DEEP IMPACT. I am sure we will watch something else after it is over.


I think maybe I will talk tomorrow about how pissed off I am about the writer's strike.

That is...unless something more interesting comes up.

I DO have a doctor's appointment tomorrow...maybe he will have some new news for me....

It's better to give than receive...

Meet Juan Jose Blandon Aguilera. He is a butcher in Nicaragua. He was looking for someone to lend him money to expand his butcher business. I, along with 23 other people, helped him in that endeavor today. I have found a new addiction.

I have always been one to give to the needy. I love doing it. I currently support 5 girls in the following countries: Uganda, Peru and Colombia. That's through a fabulous organization called Compassion. (www.compassion.com) If you are looking to sponsor a child, it's by FAR the best group I have found. In 2007, over 87% of the contributed funds went directly to the children. Also, if you make birthday or "family" gifts, 100% goes towards the child/family. It's amazing. It took me YEARS to find an organization that didn't take the majority of the money and pay their administration. If you want to know more about my "girls", please just holler! I have pictures and TONS of letters from them. They are all WONDERFUL!

Now...back to Juan Jose.

I was watching a program today, I think on Fox News, and came across either a story or a commercial that was right up my alley.

www.kiva.com

It was a microlending program. It's NOT a money-maker for the lender. It's a way of donating to impoverished countries, by helping to stimulate their economy. You are able to pick and choose who would like to assist in their endeavors. You are told how much they need, what time frame they will pay it back in, what the money will be used for, and how reliable they are for repaying their debts. You are able to donate anywhere from $25, all the way up to fulfilling their entire need. Your choice. There is not an absolute that you will receive your whole investment back, but you do enough homework, and your chances are very high. All you need is a PayPal account, and you are off assist the human race in an amazingly technological way.

Perfect for me...the techno-geek.

No, I'm not a tree hugger. I've been known to donate here and there. Basically, I let my heart tell me where I need to put my money. I definately don't make a lot of money on my own anymore, but the money that I DO take in, I enjoy rolling back into others. I am a Republican...lol...for those of you who may be wondering. But, I do have my liberal areas.... This happens to be one of them.


Do me a favor...check out their website. You don't have to sign up. You don't have to give more than $25. You don't even have to give to more than one person. Invest in one human life. When they pay that back, invest in another. However you see fit. Just take a look. It's a pretty cool deal. Plus, anything that you donate directly TO Kiva, is tax deductible, as they are a non-profit organization.


Seriously......as much as I loved receiving my care package yesterday, I am so at peace when I am assisting others.


Besides, if I can lose $800 in the ocean, I can at least support mankind a little. True?

LIGHT IT UP!!!

Anyone catch THIS Las Vegas show today? WOW!! Light it up, baby!!


According to news, when they went to put the fire out on the rooftop of the Monte Carlo in Las Vegas, they found 4 welders. SURPRISE!!! And did you hear why it burned so quickly? That beautiful facade on the outside is made of....


(drum roll, please)


.....FOAM!!


That's right, folks! You're safe in Las Vegas...where EVERYTHING'S a show!! You can watch water shows...magic shows....USED to be able to watch PIRATE shows!! But, now, for your entertainment pleasure, we proudly present...FIRE SHOWS!! Kinda beats Wynn's Mirage down the street, huh? He just has a little 'ole volcano that erupts every so often.

It is sad, though. I have stayed at the Monte Carlo before...when it first opened. LOVELY rooms. I believe ours was non-smoking. ***cough, cough***

Seriously,though...I'm kinda bummed with Vegas. I never took my kids there...and, I know that it went from being a Sin City to a "Family-Friendly" city...and now, it's decided to go back to sleaze. Too bad, too. They had a lot of really cool stuff that I would have enjoyed taking my kids to now that they are a little older.

You know, as I mentioned in a post a few days ago, we were stranded (twice) in Vegas. I barely recognized the city. There is SO much construction going on! I couldn't believe it! And, it seems like for everyone's eye-sore, there's a bigger, better, more expensive eye-sore down the road from there!

Have you seen THIS one:





You should read about it on the website:

http://www.vegastodayandtomorrow.com/las_vegas_tower.htm


Vegas: this ain't the rat-pack's town, anymore.


I found it interesting that they had to completely evacuate the Monte Carlo tonight. Everyone who HAD a room there, now gets to stay at another MGM property in Las Vegas. Kind-of a cool way to hotel hop...I guess.

I thought it was kinda funny when I heard that the fire had been blazing for 45 minutes before they really started the evacuation process. Reports are that even though the fire alarm was going off (for 45 minutes, mind you) that people were still on the casino floor. I could hear Dean in my head: "You go ahead and run, babe! I'm on a roll with the dice!! I'm HOT!!"

Yeah...hot is RIGHT!!


It will be very interesting to watch the development (and deconstruction) of downtown Las Vegas.


(I am sitting here trying to show Dean the pictures of the Crown, and tell him about it...he's ignoring me, while his jaw is wide open and he's playing "Battle for Middle Earth" on his laptop. I told you he wouldn't leave the craps table, either, didn't I???)



SPEAKING of Dean...I guess I owe the woodworker an apology. And, I hate it.

Turns out, Dean had been faxed descriptions and measurements of all of the wood that he would be making for the remaining projects I spoke about yesterday. Next to each of them, it states: WHITE OAK.....WHITE OAK....WHITE OAK. Even the handrails that were made that we both HATE....a DRAWING, with measurements, right there on the estimate for work. Unfortunately...I was never made aware of this beautiful 4 page fax. All I ever heard were the figures to do the work. So...I gracefully backed out of having ANYTHING to do with the woodwork.

Dean has an appointment with the guy tomorrow. I'm out. All of that...PAID for...wood. Makes me sick. I have a feeling we will be paying the guy to do it all over...CORRECTLY...which makes me sick, again.

Ladies.....ever been working on a project (albeit a MAN'S project), and be railroaded unknowingly? I could go on and on about my disappointment and frustration. Sometimes, I wish there was a way to get even with the rules of the "Boy's Club".



On a happy note:


I have an AWESOME cousin. She rocks my socks!! Her name is JoAnn. I wanna move in with her. Besides her and her husband being AWESOME Guitar Hero challengers, I like her Simpson's pinball machine. She rocks with her karaoke, too. This is a pic with me, JoAnn and her bestest buddy, Kohl. (Kohl rocks, also. She's the one that was blessed with HEIGHT!! Get the three of us together...and WATCH OUT!!)




Anyways....I got a package today. It had a card in it that was addressed to me, aka The Turtle. lol I open up the VERY tightly wrapped package (you like TAPE and brown bag paper, don't you, JoAnn??), and it was a FABULOUS care package!!

There was a SUPER soft pink (my fav color) teddy with a post it that read: TO HUG. A box of Sweetheart candies that were posted: TO EAT. A small box that had a note on it reading: TO WIND. Ok... I open up the box, and there's a wind-up turtle in it!! (You so rock!) And then the final touch: Something wrapped in red tissue paper. Something cylindrical....something that I am starting to see "Nutritional Facts" on... Oh...VERY clever. A small bottle of Metemucil that has a post-it that reads: TO POOP.


Glad to know friends and family are still worried about me....


JoAnna Banana.....THIS blog's for you!! I love ya, kiddo!! Can't wait to test your wicked skills on Guitar Hero again! I hope you've been practicing!!


Care packages are the bomb.....