If I only had a brain...

Warm prune juice, hot tap water, dried apricots, a fersh orange, Metemucil, Miralax....the list goes on and on. I am SURE you know what all of these are used for. I know we have touched on this subject before...but, I would just like to share something with my readers.


I have often wondered, "WHY?", when being diagnosed/stricken with certain ailments. I have often been told, "Everything happens for a reason...even if we don't know why". Well...I have figured out why I have two of my health issues, and how to use them for my good.


IF you happen to have surgery...and IF you have happened to have the same "issues" as I have been having....and IF you happen to have lactose intolerance or IBS....USE IT NOW TO YOUR ADVANTAGE!!!


I have to thank my dear friend, Debbie, and her gift of ice cream last night that made me sick!! I think, perchance, that it was the BEST vanilla ice cream I've ever eaten!! My stomach was SO unhappy!!



Speaking of friends bringing food...I am so blessed. I have had a full dinner meal brought to my home EVERY NIGHT since the 19th...and have someone scheduled to bring me food until this Thursday evening. I have AWESOME girlfriends from church! Milli has schedule this WHOLE thing, and various loving friends have been so great at bringing dinner every night for a household of (currently) seven.

I'm on the receiving end, once again. I have a LOT of GIVING to do, once I am fully recuperated. I have thoroughly been looking forward to volunteering bedside again at the hospice. This will DEFINATELY warrant me returning back to what I love doing there. I can hardly wait to be a vigil volunteer again!! I have so greatly missed being there for others as they cross over.


Speaking of being active again, a couple of things popped up today.


After YEARS of trying to get Dean to train with me (and me missing so much this past year didn't help), he has decided to start a routine with me and my personal trainer...once I am given the green light by my doctor...and once he finishes his 12-week cardio rehab., we will start a regimine. THAT should be fun! My trainer's been DYING to get her hands on him!!

Also...I had some sad news today. A genteman that I had JUST started working with at the travel agency before I left, was found dead in his home this week. He was absent from work on Tuesday, which was odd. On Wednesday a friend had the police break in, and they found him slumped over his kitchen sink, while his dinner was waiting for him on the table. Died immediately from a massive heart attack at the age of 65. Richard, you were a good man, and you will be missed.

His absence has left a HUGE hole in the travel office. He was half of the department that handled all bus tours and excursions. Sounds like they are bringing my name up as a possible person to fill the position left empty by the loss of Richard. It would be great, as they are offering me a chance to become a travel agent, also. I had quite a bit of dealings with airlines, cruises and hotels (not to mention personal experience) while I worked there. I am actually half-way excited about the opportunity. We'll see how it all pans out. I'll keep you posted. It would be some big shoes for me to fill...


Anyways...I fear that I have nothing else really exciting to share with you this evening. Since I spent a VERY long day at church (FIVE hours...we had an annual meeting today), I have been rather uncomfortable. So, I will be online...but, taking it easy. I am currently watching DEEP IMPACT. I am sure we will watch something else after it is over.


I think maybe I will talk tomorrow about how pissed off I am about the writer's strike.

That is...unless something more interesting comes up.

I DO have a doctor's appointment tomorrow...maybe he will have some new news for me....

My fruit plate

Well...it's done. I had a complete hysterectomy (including tubes and ovaries) on Monday, January 14th. Every woman that I had spoken with that had one previously, all SWORE how thrilled I would be once it was done. I invisioned these ladies dancing joyously in a field of wild flowers. I wanted to be dancing, too. After struggling for almost all of my life, it was dancing time.

I'm not dancing. Wow. This has been QUITE the eye opener. The pain, really isn't the issue. I have tightness at the incision (I am sure the staples don't help). The sleep ritual is ALL out of whack....as are my hormones, obviously. OMG!! I only THOUGHT that I had been having hot flashes in the past. OH NO!! I had NO CLUE what was in store for me! I wake up in the middle of the night, SOAKED from head to toe...knowing that I have the rest of the night to go. I weep, what seems like, constantly. Mourning the loss of my lady parts. Upset that my husband isn't around 24/7 like I was for him during his open heart surgery in October. Then...there's the BOREDOM. You can bet your life that you will find me either: A) in bed, B) in my recliner, or C) in the bathroom...TRYING to "get things going" again. I figured I would share that with you, only because half of the central valley already knows I am struggling in that area. I feared going to church today because they all might lay hands on me in hopes that I might poop. I have friends coming over hoping that they are the lucky ones who "scare the sh*t" out of me. Anytime the phone rings, I hear someone answer it, then a pause...then, "No. Not yet..." I am afraid that once I DO doo-doo, it will be front page of the friggin' Fresno Bee. It's ok...all they publish is crap anyways.

I call myself the "turtle". I move slowly and spend 90% of my time on my back, waiting for someone to help turn me over. I got into bed a couple of nights ago...climbed up on my knees (our bed is tall), fell flat on my face...and stayed there. I figured, there was a pillow underneath me, it actually felt comforting....I'd wait for someone to find me and roll me over. I am sleeping a little better now, but, I think my hormone patch is not quite doing it's job. I'm sure that my husband will be THRILLED when they get that straightened out.

omg. My middle daughter just came home from church, asking if I had pooped yet. Then, she told me that one lady asked in front of everyone, "So, has your mom....(dead silence).....POOPED?" (I just read her the paragraph about that above. Was I correct?)

Anyways....the catchy title to this blog. You're wondering why I called it that, huh? Well, when my doctor came in the next day after surgery, he was explaining to me what all he found. I knew I had 3 LARGE fibroid tumors, and "multiple" other tumors. He was telling me that one tumor was the size of an orange, one the size of a lemon...and by the time he got to the third one, all could invision was a fruit plate in my private parts. The last one was maybe...a grape. Or, maybe a kiwi. I like kiwis. But, we ARE known for our grapes here in the central valley....

Well, I think that's all I have to say for now. I'm feeling the need to raise my Yahtzee score. I guess I should explain that one, too. Seeing as how I spend too much time in the loo, I have a handheld Yahtzee game in there. That way, at least when people ask how it went, I can report the good news of an elevated Yahtzee score! I truly think I should buy a red/green light though. I AM getting tired of being asked "the question".....

By the way......have YOU pooped today?

I think maybe my next blog will be about my travels to Puerto Rico the week before my surgery.....