***NOTICE***

I am in the process creating an "viewers allowed to read my blog" profile. If you are interested in being on this list, please send me your name and email. I believe you can still message me through the Blogger system.

I will be changing my settings by Saturday, July 18th, so please notify me ASAP. If you have a friend or relative who is currently reading my blog, please let them know also. I didn't want to email my entire email list, I just wanted to contact those who are active readers of my blog.

Sorry for the inconvenience, and thank you, in advance for your understanding. This will allow me to post things a little more freely for my dedicated readers...and not have to worry about the general public reading specifics about my life.

Thanks again!

~M~

Lost but not Forgotten.....

For those of you who track my site still....I have not fallen off the face of the earth. SO much going on in my life right now. I'm heading to bed (I've been getting less than 20 hours of sleep a week), but lemme run down the highlights really quickly:

Dad was diagnosed with mulitple myeloma about 6 weeks ago. I am his primary patient advocate. He has been really negative, and I have been doing my BEST at trying to give him POSITIVE outlooks on his situation. It's not easy....

Mom's "old" house that she still has belongings in, was HORRIFICALLY ransacked at some point last week. The police were there for 2 hours dusting for prints, and got a TON of them. Now, they are just hoping that the prints are "in the system". At this point, mom, my sister and my aunt have been trying to put the house back into SOME sort of order...hoping to get her OUT of there ASAP.

I've had 3 shoulder surgeries since March 12th of this year.

I am trying to get the house in order for about 75 people to come for Briana's Engagement Party in a couple of weeks. It's casual....but, the whole thing is putting massive stress on my marriage...which is another area that I need some prayer.

Trying to keep up on paperwork for Dean, as he is freaking out about it before going on vacation.

My uncle passed away last week and we are headed to his memorial.

I'm not getting enough sleep....and it's slowly effecting my fibro, which makes physical therapy a bit rough.

Summer school for Dayna.

A wedding to plan.

A 50th birthday and a 40th birthday this year.

There WAS a possible purchase of a new home on the plate....but, thank God, that was removed.


Those are just a few tips of the iceberg. I truly have NOT forgotten about you all....just been absolutely rundown and flooded with life. I shall return to blogging here in the VERY near future.

I was afforded a beautiful comment on one of my blogs from someone who has an account, but, I cannot look them up and thank them for their eloquent words. It pertained to the closing of my business and the sale of my gowns back in March. I just want to say, "Thank You. You are the reason I am here tonight making sure that my readers know that I am still breathing and wanting to blog. Thank you for your inspirational words."

I hope to catch up soon!

~M~

You spin me right round, baby, right round....

So......you haven't heard from me in awhile, and I apologize. I can make excuses, but instead, I think I will just explain myself. I've had a couple of reasons why I haven't been on here much, as of late. Here are some of them:

Seems like I have a follower in the family, that I can't understand why they are interested in my blogs, as everything I do in their world, gets turned around and used against me. So, I've been sitting in contemplation of whether or not to scrap my blog. I decided to try and work through the feelings that it brings up, and continue on. I have a nice following, and have pick up a few more friends along the road....so, I shall continue. I get encouraging notes from people who really enjoy my openness and style or writing, so I will take a step out on to that ledge. No growth comes from being stagnant, right?

Besides that, life has kinda gotten in the way recently. I've got so much on my plate. I feel like every time I start getting close to seeing a HINT of the bottom of my plate, some unwanted dump truck backs up, and unloads its load on to my plate. Now, I'm overwhelmed. Where to start....

Many of you know that I am dealing with my fathers EXTREMELY poor health. I am the one who has willing jumped in front of the train and decided to take action in getting him better medical treatment. It's been almost 3 years now that the doctors locally have been trying to diagnose him with SOMETHING. ANYTHING!! And gotten nowhere....slowly. Well, since I have been involved, things have fast-tracked a bit more. Besides looking at getting him into Mayo Clinic in AZ, he's gone through a few tests in the last two weeks, and even been seen my a doctor an an oncologist on their days off!! SOMEONE is understanding the great need in getting him diagnosed ASAP...and I am grateful for that. I am also grateful for the amount of heart-to-heart time this has given me and my daddy. It's been a tough road for me...and I can't even IMAGINE everything that HE must be going through.

Besides that, there's been my "pseudo-surgery" in March (I was put under at the hospital, only to be woken up later and told that the surgery was aborted before they could do anything.) A week of depression. Then, I had my REAL surgery on 4/16. I'm recuperating. The orthopaedic surgeon says 4-6 weeks of physical therapy, and 6 months until a have a decent recovery. Two days ago, I got word that I will need to have another "in house" (under local) surgery. On my back shoulder, again. This will require 3-5 stitches, and a 2 week lifting embargo. I will be so glad when I can get this all behind me, and operate like a decent human being.

Then there's this little thing called a "wedding" that we are gearing up for. Granted, it's 14 months away....but, an anxious bride awaits. So, I sure there will be a solid 14 months of planning, parties, and more planning.

Top it all off with the fact that Dean is hot-and-heavy after buying a new house. Wait....lemme clarify. It's NOT new. But, after we gut and remodel it, it basically will be. (I seem to remember myself going through this for 3 years...and it only ended less than 2 years ago....) It's a HUGE chunk to bite into, especially with then marital ties are about to snap as it is...

So, I sit here with a chest holster on, as I have been assigned a cardiologist by my primary care doctor, for palpitations. They are trying to figure out if they are stress related, o health related. When the cardiologist asked me if I was under any stress, I asked him to define "stress". haha I told him that I thought that "off the charts" would be an accurate description.

So what's new with you??

News on my dad...

Well, I hate to write this letter, as I just had surgery yesterday, and was getting ready to call on Mayo for screening on my dad come Monday.

His doctor and another specialist ran a 5-hour blood protein work-up on him this past Monday, and he just called me with the results. He was unsure as to what type of protein they were speaking of, but the level was supposed to run around 250.....dad's level is at 4600.

They are trying to rush a bone marrow test, and send him to an oncologist. They seem to think that he has a form (or precursor to) of multi-myeloma....which is fatal.

I'm trying my best to have high hopes, but this was a hard blow to the both of us, and my heart is just breaking. Mayo will be put off for now, and I wanted to thank all of you who have sent letters, prayers (which he still will desperately need) and questions.

Much love,

~M~

I'm off!!!

I'm TRYING to get outta here so that I can head down to Anaheim!! Wil be down there from tonight until Sunday night.....meeting up with old friends, watching Dayna at the National Cheer Competition at the Anaheim Convention Center and going to Disneyland on Friday!!

It should be a nice break away from all the stress of reality recently. I booked myself a REALLY nice room there (5 star) for a REALLY nice price ($89 a night!), so I am REALLY excited to go back "home" for a few days!!

You all be good while I am gone!!!

It is finished.....

I decided to go late in the day, to the sale of my inventory that I donated from my past business.

It was a blessing. Thank God, most of the couture gowns were sold. For some strange reason, that made things easier for me. Alyssa found a couture dress for an upcoming prom. A $3,000 dress that they sold for $50. I bought myself a VERY vintage Oscar de La Renta piece that had never been worn. It's possibly a museum piece. I paid $25 for it. Glad no one really appreciated it's value. A little piece to keep as a reminder.

Anyways, I met up with a local newscaster there, from the station where I was a Producer. I was able to introduce myself, and help her with some gowns, which brought back the love I always had for what I did in my business. She took a picture with me, which I thought was really sweet. It warmed my heart to watch her three small children "oh" and "ah" every time she came out in a gown. I had her just TRY a $5,000 Oscar de La Renta couture piece....and she looked STUNNING! Her eldest boy gasped, and pointed at her plunging neckline, while her youngest son ran up and gave her a huge hug around her legs, and her daughter told her how beautiful she looked. THAT'S why I loved my job so.

I had to cringe at some of the "pointers" a volunteer was giving her about one gown in particular....that did NOT flatter her at all. Told her how terrific she looked in it, just needed a few alterations, and the gown would look PERFECT with a jean jacket.

That's where I understood how some people "get" couture......and some DON'T.

Anyways.....here are all of the local links that are currently running on TV as of this weekend. I am sure there will be more to come. Enjoy them like I am doing.

Me giving up this business was excruciatingly difficult. Having it offered up to the public like it was, was like splaying my most private, treasured parts for everyone to treat with disrespect. I must give HUGE kudos to the Candlelight Guild. They treated the entire endeavor with love and respect. My understanding was that when they arrived more than 45 minutes before opening, there was already a line wrapped around the building. They only let in a few people at a time, and they were only allowed to take two gowns to the dressing rooms at a time. It would have been the only way that I would have wanted it handled. I had visions of delicate couture gowns being pulled from peoples arms, tossed around uncaringly......a total mess. It was QUITE the opposite. However, I found myself rehanging gowns that had not been hung correctly...taking scarves that were misplaced on gowns, and returning them to the rightful gowns.....putting the gowns on the correct size racks.....typical me. And, I loved every moment of it.

I have a very close friend, who has another friend......who took HER friend down to find a wedding gown. She found one, and was thrilled. I received two wonderful letters of thanks from them, which utterly made me cry. I became aware of the gift that I had given, and my selfish pain was slowly transforming into humbleness. Then, the fact of how much the hospice was benefiting from the sale....reminded me of why I donated the gowns to them in the first place, and how thrilled I was that they are benefiting from it all.....finally.

Well, now that I have rambled on, here are the local links as I promised.

Remember to give back to others. Even if it's terribly painful. There is great gain...

~M~

Great Day, Channel 26, KMPH - Fresno

ABC, Channel 30, KFSN - Fresno


There was one more station that reported the story....however, they reported my business as a family business, and that I had died....hence the donation. I didn't feel the need to give their erroneous story any further hits.

Well.....it's finally happening.....

They are selling off my gowns.

It's all over the news stations today. Michelle's Sweetpeas inventory is being sold off for the benefit of Hinds Hospice. Click on the link above, and see some of the beautiful gowns that will be available for no more than $150.

Valentino, Escada, Badgley Mischka, Prada....runway gowns that still have their tags on.....valued up to $6,000 per gown.....for $150. Makes me want to cry thinking bout how much it cost for me to put them in my store, once upon a time.....

So, the question is, to attend, or not to attend?

I am torn.